Bombay, 11:24PM

Hung over. Had the most fun partying weekend. I think one of the best parts of being on holiday is being able to say what you want to say and not be worried about the repercussions. This is particularly true for page 3 type parties.

But before I get to the juice, let me just say Friday night was a truckload of fun - I went out with Kim, her friends and Shukli to this really ghaati shaadi music type bar in phoenix called Azziano. I'm not really sure if it was Himesh night, or whether his are the only popular numbers - but all night long I kept dancing to him. Of course, the next day in my hung overness, he was on EVERY FUCKING CHANNEL!!! First of all, all his songs sound the same - which is fine- when you're moving to his beats once in a while - but seriously - all the time??!!! Give me a break!! Maybe it's the association with the hangover, but I swear everytime I hear Himesh now I get a throbbing headache.

And now, for the page 3 party: So pretty much all my journy friends (Farhad, Priya, Shabana) all work for the papparazzi aka the after hours supplement in the DNA - so there was this silly fashion show thingy alongside some Zee Cine Awards or something (Zee and DNA are part of the same corporation). Now for some bizzare reason, I decided to take the train there. Maybe I was nostalgic, and I thought that it wouldn't be as crowded on a Saturday night or whatever - but that's something I'm not going to do in a long long time.

In anycase, the fashion show was alright - no real celebs - some B listers like Zulfi Syed types - and one really cute model with a huge mole (he was DELICIOUS!!) was the only interesting thing on the ramp. The poolside after party was way more fun. Probably because I drunk of my ass, and embarassing any random celebrity that Saumit (intellegent journalist whom I conversed with throughout the evening on India and it's future - he had worked from politics to crime and finally now in the papparazi)introduced me to. And of course when Im drunk, it's kind of hard to be discrete - especially when designer very closely affiliated with yashraj family (let's call him M - I think I want to respect his discretion in my sobriety) wanted to go to the Cock in new york city - and I had to bring this up (relax, I didn't mention the name of the bar - I just said the address like 5 times - and he picked up). I know it's probably an evil thing to have done, and in retrospect, I don't think I'd do it again - but god knows it was so fun watching him get all embarrassed!! And then of course there were random wannabe star types - who were desperately trying to convince me that theyre doing interesting stuff ("It's very original and unique to India - supernatural thriller 26 part mini series - it's like sixth sense - NOT x files" and I was like "If it's like either of them - it's not really original - show me something ORIGINAL!!"). It was very dance monkey - and they danced. I'm so so wicked.

It's this amazing power high - that has absolutely no basis except that I'm visiting from New York and am in some way associated with the media - and so am, therefore, worth impressing. It's amazing how insecure and how desperate some people can be for fame. And in so many cases, as with M, the elephant is in the room - huge and opaque - but yet, no one acknowledges it. I mean, one should totally respect another person's decisions - but I would have hoped that India would have reached that level - at least in high society- where people as flamby as m can talk about things in jest. And it's so weird coming from a real world - to that of fantasy and bollywood - where people live in their own delusions in a filmi bubble. I guess each to his own.

And finally caught up with Abu and Sandeep tonight - was sooo much fun gossipping with them and getting the hot juice on all the celebs.

It's so amazing that I used to live this life that was so disconnectedand so dramatically different from my life now, and yet when I come back I'm immersed into it all over again - as though nothing has ever changed. It's like I'm a different person in two continents - and the air just makes me become different people. I would never dream of having such conversations like I did at the party in New York, or randomly embarass celebrities and I would like to think that more pressing matters - like survival tend to dominate my time - but I may be wrong. Perhaps its that in New York, my future and my survival are at stake - whereas in Bombay I have almost nothing to lose. It's almost as though I find myself forcefully rebelling against the traditions only to show my disapproval of that life. Or not - maybe I'm just doing it because I can't in New York.

In anycase, it's a holiday, and I probably shouldn't introspect too much and just have a good time. Ek to kum zindagani usse bhi kum hai jawani - I can regret and introspect all I want in my 30s - that's what theyre good for anyway!